Every business has their flaws and weaknesses.  I tell ya, owning a business is a big bitch.  I never knew how stressful it would be to own one.  I still don't know how it feels, but I can merely grasp that feeling when my parents own one.  You would think, damn, you're so rich, owning a business and you make so much money, but they have their advantages and disadvantages that can cause a big difference to you and your family. Owning a business may have advantages -- profit, financially supporting the family, it may be a stable one, one with good location, and all that other shit.  They also have their disadvantages, not being to succeed to compete with other business, not being able to 'succeed' as much as you would think you would be.  As you would probably know right now, my family owns a liquor store.  I hate the fact that these small businesses take up all your time and you put your full effort into it while others are out there to fuck it up.  I've been working for my parents just to help them with their workload.  I know so many kids out there that are so hesitant to work, or they just rebel against their parents and do their own thing.  For me, I pay my respects, I know what respect is, I know what manners are, and all that shit that many won't understand.  True, I went through a bad childhood -- atleast I succeed in growing up into a gentlemen that I am today.  I earn my respect for my parents, family, and my friends.  Today, while I was working, someone stole a big bottle of Hennessey while my guard was down.  He put it below the counter so I was unable to see it.  I wish I saw it so I can open a can of whoopass on him.  I wish he would come again tomorrow when I'm working so I can call the cops on him.  We have it on tape, and I wish Karma would pay me back for what I went through today.  My family was really mad at me today, and I didn't want to work in an environment where I was being in a state of disappointment.  I work for my respect, and that was all I wanted to work for.  I'm always friendly to the customers, asking them how their day was and tell them good luck when they buy scratchers or a lotto ticket.  I even speak in spanish or other languages to have them laugh, or even make their day.  I like working there. But today, was not my day.. I hated and had to remind myself that, there are people out there to fuck up your day, and to fuck up your business.  And when it comes down to money, it changes people.  It's slowly changing my mom to a person who I never wanted her to be.  I hope she can see that money isn't what moves the world.  I rather trade money for happiness, or even a little bonding time with family, something that leaves a permanent mark in other's lives.  I know she knows that... but I really hope and pray that she doesn't continue to think about just money.  I love you mom for all the things that you've done in my life, and I'm proud of you for being this strong... I'm sorry for disappointing you today.. and to the family, I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry for being so clumsy... I will work on my clumsiness, and try to concentrate on everything I do in life.

I can't sleep right now, and it's 2:40.. I have to work at 8 A.M. tomorrow morning. Yea. cry me a river. haha. That is my vent for today.. Good night.. I've been laying in bed to think of ways to make the liquor store more of a safe environment for me and the fam.  Hopefully some creative ideas will come to my head tomorrow while I work.  I really didn't approve of my family of owning a liquor store, but what can I do?  I just wish for the best for us and that we continue being safe and hopefully no one steals again..

yo. its been a while since i've wrote.. i guess it wasnt for a week or 2.. seems like a long time. ochem is going to be the death of me tomorrow.. and then psych is going to finish me off with a fatality. haha.. mortal kombat style. anyways. i cant wait to go home. i miss home badly. i know everytime i say that, i always want to go back to back to davis.. ironic. but anyways, i want to make something out of this spring break.. maybe go somewhere, maybe go down SD.. or maybe go snowboarding.. or do something exciting. eh. life. to think about it. it isn't really exciting. what is there to do when you already did most of the thngs people do in life? i guess it's all about taking your precious time to get to where you should be.. not need to be drinking early, no need to be partying early, no need to be clubbing early, and all that bullshit. or else you'll run out of things to do when you're older. haha. ohh... im going to popsikal, it's going to be my first rave, so i'm excited i'm glad that i didn't go when i was 18 or whatever. haha. i'm excited! i want to actually start up glowsticking/glowstringing as my hobby.. i just wish one of my friends would start with me.. it'll be cool... so if tyou're interested, let's do it! =). i need to get away from gaming so damn much.  i need to stop being anti-social and go out and do shit. =) amaze people, change people's lives.  thats what i feel is important.  i love making people laugh! i love making their day! anyways.. prepare for my funeral because tomorrow im going to get wtfpwned.. good luck everyone with their finals..

i wish i took that chance with those certain someones when i had them.  things would have been totally different.  i wouldn't have gone through this heartache, and you would have.  instead, it's me, and you think you deserve someone whois better than me.  fuck that, i can't believe i came back to you.  i can't believe that i thought it would work out.  i shouldn't have gone to berkeley that day, it changed my whole life.  i'm never giving in to sympathy ever again. we said we would trust each other, we said we compromise, we said we would go through thick and thin.  fuck you.  i'm tired of this shit. i'm tired of sitting in my room and being depressed.. today is the day i'm moving on. i waited 5 months for you to come back.a month or 2 ain't so long now huh? i fucking hate you for being in my dreams, i hate that feeling of having you.  get the fuck out of my life.

Hi Xanga.

I haven't updated you guys on my ER internship lately. So I'll take some time to update.  Last week I had a prisoner come in from a jail in Sacramento and he was jumped by 15 or so guys.  His face was smashed up and he was covered with shit.  Man. They really did probably make him eat shit.  'Go eat shit'. Hahaha. Inside joke. Anyways. And then I saw an old couple come in the resusitate room, and they were Vietnamese, and shit, the story is true. Old asian drivers are shitty drivers. Haha. Just kidding.  What happened was two cars were heading towards each other, the old guy tried to dodge the other car by staying/turning to the left.  Question: Why would you turn left when the car was heading your direction on the left lane? No idea. But anyways, the car hit each other's side, and the car with the old asian couple rolled a couple times and lit on fire.  Crazy. Good thing the old man was able to get him and his wife out of the car. Tonight was a boring night. Nothing happened. I know I shouldn't say that, but I want something interesting to happen again! Haha.  Next week is my last week, and I gotta remember to write my 3-5 page paper to turn into the ICC so I can get my transcript notation.  Anyways. I had a good dream before I woke up for work. It put a smile on my face, and unfortunately it was about relationship. Haha. Yea. I wish my dream would come true! Haha! I'm not going to tell you guys my dream because it's a 'secret' =P.  However, I didn't have any motivation to go to work today.  I felt lost and un-motivated when I woke up.  I felt like there was no reason for me to live, and that I didn't care about anything or anyone. I rarely feel this way, but it's 'just one of those days'.  I know a couple of you would probably get mad if you guys read this, but I really felt like smoking a cigarette today, but good thing I didn't.  I think of those who are looking after/up to me.  i.e. friends & family.  Ah. updates with my midterm scores: Blah, I did horrible. I wish I can retake my o-chem test.  I haven't found out my score for Bio or Math yet. I don't think I want to be looking forward to that.  On the other note, I think I'm going to take a big break from playing games to catch up with my life and academic work.  I think I need to be out there, to change the world, to change my life, to change people's life, to touch those people who need a helping hand.  I know that I was anti-change, but I believe that change is the only way that makes the world continue.  And..... this is will be the end of my post because I need to wake up at 7:30 A.M. to go to my o-chem discussion to take a faggotity quiz.  Yea. Sucks. Quiz every week and I feel failing them. Oh god, I hate my Monday nights/Tuesday mornings.  Good night to you all, even though I know most of you are already sleeping. Whores! Haha.

David.